You’re not broken, just bent, and you will learn to love again.

“I can’t trust people anymore, cause of the way he hurt me”

I get it when you say that. I really do. Cause I’ve been there.

I know what it feels like to want to protect your heart.

You still open your arms for people, but this time not so wide.

You no longer feel excited about the prospect of meeting someone new. You just feel indifferent.

Yes, that’s the word.

Indifferent. Like it just doesn’t matter anymore.

The part of yourself that you were once able to give away so easily, is absent, and you can’t figure out why.

Sometimes you even wonder if it’ll be absent forever.

You feel like you’ve already given too much and now you’ve got nothing to offer.

It’s like spending all the money you had, on the first few stores that you saw on the way, and now you’re standing in front of an amazing store that has so much to offer, but you’ve run out of money.

And that sucks.

You wish you could go back.

You wish you had something left. Something. Anything.

But you’ve got nothing.

And you think that’s how it works with people.

But let me tell you something. You might not believe me right now, cause you’re in denial and your heart is hurting. But one day you will.

You need not be hopeless, cause you can never be irreparably broken.

Yes that’s right. You can’t.

You might feel like you’ve forgotten how to love another person properly,

but the ability to love someone doesn’t just go away,

even if it’s a muscle you haven’t flexed in a while.

Remember when you thought the world of them?  Like you’d crumble if they ever left.

But you’re still standing, aren’t you?

And you made it through that.

If you always keep your heart guarded and your walls up, cause you’re scared of getting hurt again, people might not be able to hurt you,

But you know what?

They might not be able to love you either.

So let it go.

Love like you’ve been hurt. Cause in all honesty, we’ve all been hurt in love.

And we’ve all given ourselves another chance.

So don’t ever say that you’re broken. Cause broken things don’t work.

But you still do.

You’re not broken, just bent,

And you will learn to love again.

We don’t commit anymore. We don’t really see the point.

We don’t commit anymore. We don’t really see the point.

We’ve defined intimacy by how comfortable we are, getting into bed with them. Effort to us means a “Goodnight’ text. We’ve stopped believing that romance exists.

Or maybe we’re just not doing it right anymore.

 

We are a generation that isn’t satisfied with what we have.

We want more. We always want more.

We’re bored easily and we crave variety.

Options, that’s the word. We want more options.

 

So even if we commit, we still have one eye that wanders, that is always on the lookout for other options, better and potential options.

We think having choice is a good thing. It makes us feel wanted, and we love that feeling, don’t we?

We don’t care about that person we have back home , cause they’re not going anywhere. They won’t ever leave us.

So we continue wandering, continue looking for that next fix, that next source of gratification.

We’ve lost the value of a real conversation. We don’t wanna get to know them. We don’t have the time.

We don’t ask them why they feel sad at 3 in the night, or where they got that scar from.

We run away from effort and then we wonder why our relationships don’t last.

We feel hopeless and say things like “Love doesn’t last forever”.

We don’t even know what forever means anymore.

 

And that’s why we break up. Cause in our words, “It isn’t working out anymore. The spark is gone”

What the fuck do you mean it’s not working out?

Tell me again how hard you tried.

 

But we still do it. Cause there’s so many people out there we haven’t met yet. We can’t settle. Hell no. Settling isn’t cool.

So we pull our phones out and install Tinder once again, cause an app that uses GPS to help you find your perfect match is bound to work, isn’t it?

We swipe, swipe and swipe a bit more each time till we find our “perfect match”.

 

And that’s how we date now.

We don’t commit anymore. We don’t really see the point.

 

Just a second-hand love

 

We’ve all got people we really care about. And it’s easy to make excuses for people when we care about them. It’s easy to overlook things we shouldn’t because we want everything to work out the way we planned.

It’s easy to ignore the red flags.

You feel like you sort of belong and I get that.

Trust me I’ve been there, it feels amazing.

But you’re so much more than someone who should just “sort-of” belong to someone.

You see what I’m saying?

You think that you need to try harder and then maybe one day they’ll see how wonderful you really are. You say things like “That’s just the way people are” everytime they do something that upsets you. Well you’re wrong and you only feel this way cause you haven’t been with the right people.

There are always going to be those people who keep you around because it’s convenient for them. They say one thing and mean something else. They give you false hopes.

They do that cause it’s comforting to have you within an arm’s reach.

They don’t love you. They certainly don’t.

They just love the fact that you’re there for them.

And you stay, you always stay, cause for you, they’re the first choice.

But for them, you’re only a safety net.

And I know this is hard for you to hear, but they seek comfort. There’s comfort in knowing that you’ll be there for them after all is said and done.

But that’s not fair to you, is it?

You don’t deserve someone who thinks of you as the next best possible option. Your heart is not a consolation prize.

You deserve more than that. You really do.

They’re not wrong people. No.

They’re just not right for you.

So you let them go.

And remember that once you do that, they’ll still feel like an anchor. But you need to stop wasting your time thinking about their weight tied to your ankle now, because if you lift your head even a little bit, you’ll see that there are way too many beautiful things to see above the water. 

So don’t settle for someone because you think it’s convenient or cause they’ve been there all along.

You deserve so much more than their second-hand love.

Love is too beautiful to be hidden in the closet.

You want them to know,
You want them to see,
But you’re scared of how it’s gonna be.
And that’s the thing about this world we live in,
You can’t be who you really are,
cause being yourself is now a sin.

You want to hold hands,
You want them to walk along
But people will stare
And oh they’ll think it’s wrong.

So you just stay the way you are,
And you die a little inside,
Every time they get close to you on the street,
You flinch as if it isn’t right.

But love is love and you fight for it to stay,
It’ll always be hard but you need to find a way,
So just show them who you are,
You’ve been hiding for so long
It’s time to be proud,
It’s time to be strong.

You owe it to yourself
You’ve got a life to live
And as long as you’re happy,
Does it matter who you fall in love with?

_____________________________________________

P.S. 

I’ve been meaning to write this for quite some time now. Every time an issue concerning the LGBT community comes into the limelight, I’ve seen people read the news for 10 seconds and then change their profile pictures to show their support for the LGBT community, or put up statuses like “Equality for all” or “Love wins” cause they think that’s gonna make a difference.

Well, the next time you’re tempted to take that step, wait for a minute and think about this.

10 years from now, if your kid walks up to you and somehow musters the courage to tell you that he’s gay, are you gonna put an arm around him and smile?

Are you gonna tell him that it’s okay cause it doesn’t matter who you fall in love with, as long as you’re happy?

Are you really gonna be okay with him being different?

And if that’s a no, you need to stop telling the world that you support “equality for all”, cause let’s be real, you don’t.”

But if that’s a yes, go ahead. Tell the world, take part in parades, change your profile pictures. Do it all.

And if one day your kid walks up to you and tells you that he’s different, make sure you smile and say

“I’m there for you.

You’ll be okay”

We always go back to people who hurt us.

Have you ever wondered as to why we always go back to previous relationships that fell apart?

To people that hurt us so much?

Why do we go back when it clearly isn’t working?

I constantly find myself wondering.

People go back to what’s familiar and what’s comfortable even if it’s wrong. Cause atleast they already know what to expect from that person.

There was a reason why things didn’t work out. There’s no point running back. I mean sure the past is familiar, but it’s a mistake.

Sometimes, two people just don’t work. No matter how much you care about someone, how much you love them, sometimes it just isn’t meant to be. Yeah, that hurts. Yeah, that sucks to realize. But honestly, that’s life.

Sometimes you need a slap in the face. You need to realize that you’ve tried this three, four, five times and every time, it hasn’t worked. They hurt you. You hurt them.

So I’m here to give you a really hard piece of advice.

Please stop fighting for your relationship.

 If someone is unable to see what makes you special, beautiful and worth pursuing a future with, don’t waste your time trying to jump back into that relationship. They’re not worth it.

I know it’s extremely difficult to be told that you need to move on, especially when you’re still in love with them, but you’ll eventually realize that you’re better off without someone who doesn’t look at you like you’re the greatest thing that ever happened to them.

I know it sucks. I know it. I’ve been there.

So I’m gonna go ahead and tell you that it’s okay to break down and cry sometimes. We all do it.

Believe me when I tell you that there’s someone out there for you who’ll be everything that you need and everything that you never knew you wanted in a partner.

When someone who you’ve been in a relationship with, isn’t willing to fight for what you had, don’t keep trying to make it work. You can’t. It’s a two way street.

So come on now. Wipe those tears away. We’re finally doing it.

We’re finally walking away from people who hurt us.

Don’t be scared.

Don’t be scared of finding out what’ll happen if you leave.

You already know what happens when you stay.

Why do people think that being with someone is the answer to everything?

Can I tell you something?
You don’t have to look for “the one” just because literally everyone around you is in a relationship.
I mean it.
I know they force it down your throat until you choke on it.
They’ve made you believe that girls aren’t pretty unless they’re wanted. Boys aren’t men if they don’t have someone to show off every now and then.
People aren’t lovable cause they’re not dating.
That’s bullshit.
A relationship does not guarantee happiness.
And as wonderful as it may sound, it isn’t the only love that exists.
I have seen friendships that are deeper and more pure than couples who promise forever.
I’ve heard so many people say “Nobody loves me” cause they’re not in a relationship, and it kills me because when asked what about your parents? Your friends? Your pets?
They say “Yes Okay, but it doesn’t count”
Of course it counts.
I mean love doesn’t diminish just because someone’s not having sex with you.
In fact, doesn’t it make that love all the more real?
The fact that they don’t expect anything in return, not even a date from you?
Being in love is an amazing feeling, yes I know that.
I’ve been there. It’s magical.
But it’s also wonderful to play dress up with your girls and eat ice cream right out of the tub, isn’t it?
Or the way your dog leaps on you when you get home after a really long day.
Why have we made love just about “the one”?
Why do people think that being with someone is the answer to everything?
Honestly, it isn’t.
So just stop rushing into things.
Don’t say maybe if you wanna say no,
Because no matter how wonderful being in a relationship is,
It’s not the only love that exists.

Don’t cheat. If you’re unhappy, just leave.

 

“Never cheat on someone that is good to you. Karma is a bitch”

-Surgeo Bell

People cheat cause they’re lonely. They cheat cause they wanna feel alive. Cause the person they once fell in love with no longer looks at them like the entire world is lighting on fire. Cause they’ve forgotten what desire feels like and they’ve reached a point where they would do anything to feel that surge of electricity ignite them once again.

But that doesn’t make it right. Nothing does.

People cheat because it’s easy.

They cheat because there’s something broken inside of them. Something that wants to love properly, lend their hearts out to others without asking anything in return.

They cheat because they don’t understand how to be the kind of person who doesn’t. The kind who gives and receives affection freely. The kind who deserves those small, beautiful acts of love.

People cheat because they don’t know how to fix themselves. And so they look outward for the solution.

There are some things that can never be forgiven, you know?

Cheating on someone who loves you is one of them.

Cheating is not a mistake. You don’t just walk out the door and fall into someone else’s bed.

You think about it for a while. You make that choice.

We all know in our hearts what’s right, but we still believe, against all odds that people change.

They don’t.

Patterns are patterns, my friend. And patterns repeat themselves.

Cheating on someone is the worst thing you could ever do. I mean breaking their trust is bad, but destroying their perspective on love is far worse.

So don’t.

You might think it’s hard to tell them that you’re no longer in love with them, but one day down the lane, they might be able to get over it. If you cheat on them, they won’t trust you again for the rest of their lives.

So don’t. Don’t do it.

Don’t cheat.

If you’re unhappy, just leave.

Call them. There’s always a way to be good again.

 

I know you’ve hurt people.
Perhaps a lot of them.
Maybe even the ones who cared for you, who waited for you.

You hurt people who loved you.
They gave you a second chance and you blew it.
You did that, didn’t you?
I know you’re nodding your head.

But don’t worry.
There’s a way to be good again.

If you think you’ve lost them, start looking for them.
Try making amends.
Call them.
Listen to their voice.
Maybe even their silence.

Remind yourself that there was a time when they mattered.
You need to get them back.
Tell them you need them.
Don’t assume that they know.
Cause even if they do, sometimes people need to hear it.

You say it’s hard.
It’s hard to make amends.
But it was harder for them when you hurt them.
Just remember that.

Do what it takes, god damn it.

Please don’t let them slip away.
Save them the pain.
Call them.
There’s always a way to be good again.

Don’t answer that text

One day when you’re finally happy with everything in your life, you’ll get an unexpected text.
Maybe you’ve deleted his number, or maybe you never had the courage to.
He’ll probably tell you that he wants to talk.
Wait. Hold on.
Before you even think of typing something, think about the day he left you.

The way he never realized how much his words hurt you.
The nights you stayed up crying for him, when he probably didn’t even shed a tear.

Remember those corny pickup lines, the endless flirting, a few broken promises?
You did nothing to deserve that.

But he still put you through that shit and he wasn’t even around when you had to deal with it.
Remember all those text messages you sent that never got a response?

The way you were waiting, with the phone in your hands, looking at the ceiling, while he was out, making plans with someone else.

You remember all that, don’t you?
What he did wasn’t okay.
It hurt you.
It hurt you so fucking much.
How can you think about not letting that matter?

How many chances before you let go of him?

Not every sorry deserves an “It’s okay” in return.
Yes, trust me, this one doesn’t.
Look at yourself.
You’ve stopped trusting people cause of the pain that he put through.

You’ve stopped believing in love.
So just hold on.
Don’t even type.
He doesn’t deserve it. Not even a text message.

You don’t need him.
You’re better off without him.
You’re gonna get through this.
I promise.

We were, and then we weren’t

I’m not sure if you’re gonna read this, but I really wish you do. 

“We were, and then we weren’t.

Sometimes people fall asleep in love and wake up empty. Sometimes people fall asleep and don’t wake up at all. It hurts, until one day it doesn’t”

I check my phone and there aren’t any messages. And whenever there are any, my heart wilts a little each time I read the names that don’t belong to you.

I guess it’s now safe to say that you scared me a little, mainly because I told you things that I have never told anyone before and I didn’t even realize how easy it was to do until you were gone.

I still don’t understand why you walked away, why you chose to hurt me. And it just hurts more this way.

I replay everything inside my head, over and over again, and I still can’t make sense of it.

I’ve never been good at erasing people.

Sometimes I think that I feel too much and when someone like you comes around, I invest too much.

All this time, I kept convincing myself that you wouldn’t leave me, because who lets go of a love like that?

I thought we were on the same page, but all this while, we weren’t even reading the same book.

I have now come to the realization that there is more to love than just pining for someone who was never yours, at least not wholeheartedly.

Having you walk out of my life was the most difficult thing I’ve ever experienced. Cause you meant so much to me.

So much.

I wouldn’t be writing this if it wasn’t for you.

I might move on but I don’t know if I’ll ever fully let you go, because you made me feel so alive. But I guess it’s okay.

It’s okay to never quite know how to let someone go.

It wasn’t until I saw you walking away from me, just leaving me like that, after all that we’d been through that I realized how it never really mattered to you.

You knew it.

And if I’m being completely honest with myself, I guess at some level, I knew it too.

It was just something I didn’t say.

You didn’t love me. You never did.

I let myself fall for you anyway.